I'm not sorry

Dear reader,

Here is a small but important list of things, amongst others, that I am no longer apologizing for:

• My body.

• Taking up space.

• Communicating my boundaries.

• My love of solitude and alone time.

• My frizzy hair.

• My independence.

• Spirituality and deep feelings conversations and thoughts.

I will no longer apologize for who I am. Nor will I sacrifice who I am in order to be accepted or loved. If you don’t understand me, that’s your problem, not mine.

I leave you now, dear reader, with some timely words from comedian and content creator, Elyse Myers:

“I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to recalibrate my voice, body, style, sense of humour so I’m more digestible for the people around me. I found it to be much easier and faster for me to change than to wait until I could meet people that would love me just as I was. So on my way to becoming softer, smaller, quieter, and more pleasant, I also washed away everything that made me, me. I realized I wasn’t actually loved any more than I was before because nobody knew me, I barely knew me anymore. When somebody would compliment me it felt like they were saying, ‘I am so glad you aren’t the way you used to be.’ I would think, I used to have an opinion. I used to care about things that were outside of my body and extended further than my mirror. I used to be present in a conversation without worrying if I am giving way too much or not nearly enough. I used to reply to messages because I didn’t have to wonder if I was sending too many of them. I used to be loud in public places because I wasn’t afraid to take up the space with my body and my voice and my presence and I’m done.

I’m done watering myself down so that you feel more comfortable around me. It’s not my life’s mission and my life’s purpose to be easily loved. And I’m going to stop acting as if it is. I don’t want love that isn’t meant for me.

So if I’m too much for you, go find less.”

All for now,

All my love,

Onward.

-m