notions of forgiveness
I’m constantly in a cycle of practicing and receiving forgiveness. From what I’ve learned, every day is a new opportunity to forgive myself for past mistakes, move on, and let go, regardless of how I acted. Forgiveness to me is about recognizing when my inner child is hurt and acting out, knowing that in those moments, I am not acting like myself. I am hurt, and hurt people, sometimes without consciously doing so, hurt others.
Lately I’ve had instances in my personal life where I’ve had to extend forgiveness to myself, to others, and even, to those I don’t know but witness on the news and on social media. I’ve had to be accountable to the way I hurt others when I was hurt in hopes that they will extend the same level of forgiveness to me.
My statement about life and my experiences is always ringing true in my ears,
“…everyday is an adventure and a new opportunity to reinvent yourself,”
…and it’s true. Everyday is an adventure in life, love, loss, kindness, compassion, gratitude, generosity, honesty, communication, and speaking your truth. Everyday is a new opportunity to reinvent yourself from the pain and hurt of yesterday. Or maybe, everyday is a new opportunity to reinvent yourself from the joys of yesterday. You choose. For me, it depends on the day.
I read something by artist, writer, and self-love wonder Freya Haley the other day that resonated with me on this topic. She writes,
“Forgiveness of yourself, forgiving others who wronged you. I remember a time in my life when I was so bitter. I resented people for hurting me, I thought some things were impossible to forgive. But when I actually let go I learned that carrying resentment was a burden and that it was never my burden to carry.
As I sent them my hatred, little did I realize I was also giving my power away. Using up my energy on staying in a state of hatred, I stayed in the same pain that their actions put me in.
Forgiveness isn’t about the other. It’s not choosing to love what someone did. It’s choosing to love yourself enough to know that the pain and actions of someone else are not your responsibility to hold within you.
Similarly, the past actions of your wounded self are not your responsibility to hold against yourself. You can grow out of the person you have been and you are allowed to give yourself permission to be accountable, to forgive and let go, rather than feeling like you will be that person forever.
Looking past the hurt and choosing not to identify with it. Choosing to discontinue the cycle of blame and shame. Forgiveness is liberating. It brings with it a deeper understanding that hurt people hurt people. That the you who has caused others harm was hurting themselves and that those that have caused you harm, must to be hurting themselves.
Forgiveness and acceptance in my eyes are some of the most radical displays of love.”
When I read this the other day I felt a sense of relief in finally having words to put to the way I feel about forgiveness, for myself and for others. Forgiveness is liberating. Forgiveness is freeing. Forgiveness in my eyes is about being able to walk through the world trusting in yourself enough to know that you are a good person, who makes good decisions, and leads a wonderful life, but, will make mistakes. That’s just life. The same perspective can be applied to those who have hurt you.
At the end of the day though, forgiveness is necessary and worthwhile. It’s about providing yourself with the space and grace to move through your mistakes, the hurt you have caused or the hurt someone else has caused you, and all of life’s other challenging moments, and come out the other end, a stronger, more forgiving, and more loving version of yourself.
Remembering that,
“…everyday is an adventure and a new opportunity to reinvent yourself.”
All for now,
All my love,
Onward.
-m
P.S. I have new blog posts coming about my latest adventures through BC very, very soon.